"Increase Birth Rate," "Sex Vacations" - Goals of White Ultranationalists

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Friday, 8 March 2019

Lausanne, Switzerland. Special to The Spoof. At this week's international conference of white ultranationalists from Europe, North America and other primarily white areas, the overwhelming concern of delegates was the low birth rate associated with the white population of each nation.

The fear, expressed repeatedly by delegates to the Lausanne conference, was that the white population was being overwhelmed by immigrants. Those immigrants are ethnically different from the "native" population, and still have a high birth rate, while that rate for whites is falling drastically to all-time lows in nearly every country.

So what is the solution? The remedy, passed without dissent by the more than one thousand delegates, recognized that stopping the flood of immigrants from war-ravaged countries is impossible. But as an antidote, they urged governments to promote a rising birth rate among the "native" population through tax incentives for each birth and through child subsidies, but only for families who have resided in the country for at least four generations.

Other remedies include "sex vacations" for young married workers, financial inducements, such as paid honeymoons to reduce the trend for late marriage, and burdensome income taxes for young childless couples.

A "wall of shame," which would ridicule married couples who are childless, was narrowly defeated, but all tax benefits would be denied to those with only one child. In addition, governments would be asked to publicize the disadvantages to the only child in a family.

A move to outlaw abortion had no opposition, although encouragement of pre-marital childbirth was adopted in a close vote.

A proposal to award medals and national publicity each year to the oldest couples giving birth appeared headed for passage until it was denounced as sounding too "soviet-like."

During the conference, Lausanne doctors were besieged by female delegates who thought they had become pregnant.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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