President Donald Trump had sore fingers from his previous night's Twitter Storm, so he held a press conference to explain his actions of the last few days.
"So it's sad that America has its greatest President ever, and still they stop everything, even talking about me, just because it's Christmas! Last year, I tried to prevent it by shutting down the government, but everybody still stopped paying attention to me to celebrate the stupid holiday," bellowed Trump.
"So, this year, I had to participate in the fake witch hunt, take our troops out of Syria, screw up the stock market, AND shut down the government before I got everybody's attention. So, next year, maybe we can forget all this holiday stuff, and just pay attention to ME. This is what wil make America great again!"