Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Funny story written by Patrick Parkinson

Sunday, 7 December 2014

image for Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Catholics around the world have been screaming "blasphemy" all day after it was revealed that the Vatican will reboot the Bible next year and write a new "more modern" version if it for release in the summertime.

The Vatican made the decision due to the lack of interest in the old Bible, and because of the recent trend in Hollywood to reboot famous movie franchises and TV series. Whilst the old and "classic" bible was written by Jesus' disciples, the new one will be written by "Lost" screenwriter Damon Lindelof and he has already hinted at some interesting twists in the Bible.

"The new Bible will be brought up to date" said Lindelof "it will be a more modern telling of the old stories, it will be interesting to see how Jesus and the other characters will exist in a post-9/11 world." Lindelof also mentioned that some minor changes will be made with the character of Jesus, saying "I see him as a brooding loner with a lot of rage inside, he'll definitely be kicking more ass and taking names"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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