Claiming that the doctrine of the trinity, or "three-in-one" was clearly a lie concocted by Satan to lead true believers away from God's holy word, the leadership of the Jehovah's Witless Church announced a boycott of all Three-in-One lubricating products.
"We will not be silent on this issue", proclaimed an editorial in the Watched Over newsletter. "It is, after all, the squeaky wheel that gets the grease!"
When contacted at Three-in-One's headquarters in Greece, New York --just outside of Rochester-- CEO Earl Slick indicated that he was taken aback by the protest.
" We basically settled on the name 'Three-in-One' after we figured out that all the really cool, catchy names were taken. It's a little lame, but we never expected it to create this much friction!"