"Moose On The Loose" as Herd of Topless Maine Women Protest 'Discrimination' By Taking Off Flannel Shirts!

Written by Morse

Tuesday, 6 April 2010


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Dick Cheney After Recent Maine Moose Hunt with Trophy!

Maine Wild Life Officers were put on full alert after a rampaging herd of topless Maine women stampeded through the renovated downtown port city of Portland in a protest called "udderly ridiculous" by representatives of the Fraternal Order of the Moose, a family orientated charitable institution.

The women were apparently protesting 'inequality' of the sexes, with men being allowed to go shirtless in public, while the Mainiacs were forced to wear L.L. Bean flannel shirts during hunting season to prevent tragic accidents.

Maine already controls their 'Moose' population with a state lottery issuing a limited amount of permits to keep their rapidly growing herd under control, and off the state's highways where they are prone to crash through a windshield when hit by a vehicle. Death for both the Moose and the vehicle occupants usually results after the 1000 pound animal winds up in their laps.

In addition to the 'lovable' Moose, Maine is known for it's production of Christmas Trees, Christmas Wreaths, lobsters, clams, and blood worms, the latter a popular fishing bait, but also with a majority shipped off to France to meet a culinary demand after rising prices of the common slug known as 'Escargot.'

The flannel shirt mandate was put into effect several years ago after a nude sun bathing Maine woman was shot in the ass while picking wild blueberries in a remote region of the state known for Moose sightings and mating rituals.

The horrified hunter was almost too distraught to speak, but an investigation report quoted him as saying, " She sure was a big un from where I sat in my tree stand.....I'm glad she wasn't kilt...I woulda needed a skidder and a flat bed to haul her ass oughta thar!"

Maine law requires that the entire moose be brought to a tagging station to be recorded and verified, a not insignificant task when one of the animals is shot deep in a wooded swamp miles from a road access.

Many women, fed up with the traditional flannel suit outfit have started a revolt on their own changing their state attire to Pants Suits, a stylish statement that also seems to support their 7500 calorie a day eating habits.

Real Mainers are not happy with the notoriety claiming that the topless women were recent immigrants from Boston with a smattering of New Hampshire "Live Free or Die" hard core lesbians.

A local Maine humorist has started a petition to change the state motto "Vacation Land" appearing on Chamber of Commerce ads and license plates to "The Land of Big Happy Tits" in a attempt to woo boob lovers from vacationing in Australia, recently noted as having the women with the biggest breasts.

Said local resident Fred 'possum' Hinkley, "come on up and see us in January, not only are our Tits big...they get really nippily at 10 below!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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