As the unfair dismissal tribunal between a nanny and the one time wife of an insect rumbles into the realms of absurdity, a new argument has arisen between the concerned parties.
Over boobs.
A row raged over who exactly financed a breast augmentation surgery for the former lingerie model. Was it the Ex Mrs B, as she insists? Or was it a bank loan taken out by the defendant?
Both parties insist that the other is lying.
Following publication of photographs of said enhanced breasts, our very own breast afficionado and specialist in all things mammary, the former pirate captain and scourge of the Caribbean, Captain Morse was less than impressed by the results.
"My God," Captain Morse gasped. "She paid £4,000 for that? It's unbelievable. That's one of the worst breast enhancement jobs I've ever had the misfortune to clap eyes on - and trust me, I've clapped eyes on a few. Those are not good hooters. Not by any stretch of the imagination. It looks like somebody's just put two plant pots on an ironing board. The effect is cold and unyielding, a little like the people involved in this case."
The lads in our office here at Skoob News were in general agreement, with most suggesting that there are far more aesthetically alluring ways of blowing four grand, and one swearing that the pictures we showed him would inevitably drive him back to the drink.
More as we get it.
