Stars from the insular world of show business expressed mutual amazement that the This Morning presenter with the eye-boggling breasts, Holly Willoughby hasn't proven as popular among internet satirists as Cheryl Cole or Lady Gaga.
Which seems strange, given that Willoughby is a beautiful English Rose, fair of face, with stunningly firm front bumps, long luscious legs, a sharp wit and a bubbly personality.
"I just don't get it," co-presenter Phillip Schofield told this reporter. "You'd expect Holly to be a hot topic on satirical websites like The Spoof and The Onion but she rarely gats a mention. A bit like Sarah Harding out of Girls Aloud really.
"Given what a bunch of lecherous old men most satirists are, one would have expected at least one of the old perverts to have latched on to Holly's satirical potential. Mainly her breasts. I don't know where these so called satirists are looking for their material. I would have thought that Holly's breasts would have been a natural choice. They certainly make my eyes pop out first thing in the morning, I can tell you."
Further investigations revealed that two leading lecherous satirists known as Morse and Bargis Tryhol had never even heard of Holly Willoughby - because they're Americans!
When I showed the two satirists some publicity shots of Holly Willoughby, they agreed that she is a fine looking filly with knockout hooters, but that they wouldn't be satirising her anytime soon.
Bargis Tryhol explained that typing the name Holly Willoughby repeatedly would be a time consuming pain in the ass and complained that all the pretty Brit chicks have really weird names, which it takes time and effort to type out.
Unlike American totty who tend to have really easy names to type, like Paris Hilton, Pammy Lee,and J-Lo.
So it would appear that no matter how luscious Holly's puppies are she's fresh out because her name is too awkward to type.
An English satirist countered the claims of Morse and Bargis Tryhol by saying they talked bollocks and the real reason they wouldn't be satirising Holly Willoughby is that they'd probably have trouble remembering the spelling.
More as I make it up!
