Ron Paul Fundraising Back to $0

Funny story written by luckyfunk

Thursday, 27 September 2007

WASHINGTON - Sean Hannity tried to tell us. In a fitting show of irony, the Ron Paul camp today learned that the "Paulites," vehement supporters of Congressman Ron Paul's 2008 Presidential Election campaign and advocates of direct democracy, a waning phenomenon of simpler times, consist of approximately 12 individuals well versed in all aspects of identity theft, online vote manipulation and rapid interstate travel.

This revelation, long suspected by Fox News host Sean Hannity, among others, came about today as reports surfaced concerning this Gang of 12's efforts to secure bankruptcy filing after obtaining over $450,000 in credit and immediately spending it all on small donations to the Ron Paul campaign.

The procurement of this credit, almost $40,000 per person, was orchestrated in an effort to silence Hannity and combat national polling results unequivocally showing Paul's miniscule support base in the non-Internet world.

Beginning Monday, September 24, 2007, the Gang of 12 began making small donations to Ron Paul's campaign in response to a last minute plea of desperation by the Presidential hopeful to raise $500,000 by the end of this quarter's fund raising deadline.

The efforts by the Gang of 12 was initially successful in casting doubt on the widely held belief that Paul's "fan-base" consists of nothing more than a handful of rabid, computer-savvy, Internet kooks who maintain a naïve and infantile belief that democracy and individual liberties are threatened by the so-called "neo-cons" and "puppets" in Washington. Unfortunately, the Paulites have been outed for what they are. What Hannity has known all along.

Keeping with the rhetoric of Internet times: Hannity pwned Paulites.

In an interview with the Gang of 12 organizer, who requested her name be withheld for fear the "[The Illuminati and Bohemian Grove Members] will not hesitate to discredit us and, as the owners of most of the banks, will undoubtedly prohibit [our attempts to declare] bankruptcy," we were told their efforts were based on a deep seeded distrust of the current political system and that "there is no … difference between Giuliani, Edwards, Clinton, Obama, McCain, or Bush. They're all … pawns and [Congressman] Paul is the only one who represents hope for this nation."

Additionally, the Gang of 12 sees nothing wrong with their bankruptcy filing, or their tactics as, in their words: "What does it matter? All the money is fake anyway - the Fed[eral Reserve] can just make more."

Ron Paul's campaign staff could not be reached for comment. Assuming there is a "staff."

Sean Hannity's representative said simply "For once, thank God, Fox News was right. Booya."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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