Elkton, Maryland (Presso del Fascio) - United Fascist Union leader Jack Grimes has announced that he will once again run for President of the United States.
After first invoking the ghost of Saddam Hussein to come forth from the spirit world to be his running mate, Mr. Grimes then stayed to answer questions from an adoring public. Predictably, there were none.
Mr. Grimes claims to have previously placed 6th in the 2000 election behind Bush, Gore, Nader, Buchanan, and "Abstention". He hopes to do at least as well or move up on the awards podium this time around.