Paris Hilton Discovers Cure for Cancer at Home, in Her Spare Time

Written by Jean Le Fete

Thursday, 27 September 2007

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Hilton Uses Radioactive flies to incubate new DNA based cure!

Geneva - Today Paris Hilton shocked the World Federation of Cancer Researchers by presenting her own research and cure to some of the most complex cancers known to man. Using radioactive isotopes to breed a special fly she discovered in a dive in Tiajuana, Mexico, Hilton created a "super maggot" as she described in "lay" terms.

"I was sipping a Margarita with Spears one night and I felt something crawling in my...well I'll just say it, it was in my vagina. I pulled out a larvae so big it was making me get...well I won't go into that. I then immediately thought of Dr Zhao Deng Paos research into organically grown molecular, radioactive isotopes and their impact on living organisms in reducing aberrant chromosomes and linking to healthy cells to fight cancerous cells. It was a no brainier! Like Duh!!"

"So I went back to the hotel bathroom and put the maggot into one of the petri dishes I always carry in my backpack and anointed it with radioactive, organically grown isotopes and wallah!! Well actually it took several days of monitoring between surfing and snorkeling, but hey, I'm just your average amateur when it comes to cancer research."

Hilton's full story and research is now up for a Nobel Prize and can be read in its entirety on U-Tube's Amateur Cancer Research page(Ten pages double spaced.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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