Lazic Eye Surgery Goes Horribly Wrong

Written by Buck E Filbert

Thursday, 27 September 2007

image for Lazic Eye Surgery Goes Horribly Wrong
Imagine the woman's shock!

Santa Monica Calif. A woman decided to have elective laser eye surgery after suffering from poor vision for a number of years. One of her deciding factors was the safety record of the procedure.

After talking to her doctor the idea of lazic eye surgery seemed like a good alternative to wearing glasses or contacts. She made an appointment and went in for the treatment. The Doctor performed the lazic and bandaged her eyes to protect them. She was told to leave the wrapping on for 24 hrs and then remove them.

After 24 hrs she unwrapped her bandages to reveal to her horror she had been transformed in to a fly creature complete with little legs out of the side of her head. (See picture)

Not only does the woman look like a fly but she has an uncontrollable urge to dumpster dive into rotten food and vomit acid on putrid meats so she can better ingest it. She's won't even talk about her fascination involving animal droppings. In addition she's developed the ability to walk up walls and crawl across ceilings.

Her husband said, " we've been banned from all the neighborhood cookouts, my wife's behavior is unacceptable, all that buzzing around and she's got to touch everyones food, the projectile vomiting is disgusting."

An unassociated lazic surgeon said this has happened before, but rarely to this degree. Hypereyeballizum is usually an overactive thyroid problem although it doesn't appear to be the case here.

When contacted for comment the woman and the doctor involved were unavailable for comment pending a malpractice suit.

Somewhere in the background we could hear the woman saying, "help me, help me, I'm here."

Never count your larva before they hatch.

From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
09.27.07

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more