FDA orders recall of 'Veggie Booty' children's snacks; may cause gastrointestinal illness

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Saturday, 30 June 2007

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FDA recalls Veggie Booty because it's too sexy?

Washington, D.C. - The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) finally took action against the makers of the Booty line healthy food snacks with the obscene, offensive, and sexually suggestive names, according to conservative family value groups.

The FDA ordered a recall of the puffed rice, spinach and kale food product, Veggie Booty, claiming it is tainted with salmonella wandsworth, a bacterium that causes gastrointestinal illness.

"It's not about the food," said a lawyer for the company, "it's about the name. My client has been harassed for years by conservative family values groups and the FDA to change his product line name calling it obscene, offensive and even sexually suggestive."

It is alleged the FDA ordered a mandatory recall when it got wind that the all-time family favorite organic snack, Veggie Booty, was about to be joined with a new line of healthy food products: 'Ity Bity Tity Taders for Tots, Old Fashion Cameltoe Jam Spread, and Jack's Nut Snack Sacks.'

"This raid will not be tolerated," assured the lawyer. "My client will prevail in a court of law and one day, soon, every one will be able to crack open a Booty line healthy food snack product and enjoy the delicious and nutritious goodness inside."

The FDA denied the action taken was politically motivated, the result of pressure from conservative family value groups upset at the sexually suggestive package labeling or that it has been politicized like so many other departments of the government by the Bush administration recently. Yet, they could not answer why so many tainted products, and now tires, from China have gotten by them.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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