Modern cannibalism in this country is under threat due to a small number of old school cannibals eating non-vegans. ‘The public is oblivious to the destructive elements within our movement,’ said Brenda O’Lox from the Nice Cannibals Alliance. ‘Eat…
Following on from Vegetarian and Vegan, fussy Britons are turning to an even more economical way of eating healthily called Gardenetarian. The trend consists of eating anything you can find in yours and your neighbours gardens. Mr Michael Hunt...
Jeremy Corbyn’s team were in turmoil last night after a 36 year-old pole dancer, who performs under the stage name of Sturdy Annuals, claimed to have seen the Labour leader tucking into bangers and mash in a Camden café. Sturdy (real name Kylie Le...
A luxury UK prison in Boston, UK (logical), crowned as the 'cushiest' prison in the UK, only accepts meat-eating inmates because the canteen only serves pork from local pigs, and vegetarian or Muslim inmates cannot be allowed to go hungry! The pri...
The Brazilian government have decided to jump on the vegan / vegetarian bandwagon by forcing it's meat producers to flog rotting meat to the rest of the world! Brazilian meat companies are earning mega-bucks by exporting rotting carcasses because...
Vegetarian and religious groups the world over have renounced the companies producing vegetarian bacon slices after it emerged that the products are derived from pork. The companies concerned say that they chemically remove everything in the product...
California - Vegetarians and other non-flesh eaters are most likely to be shooting blanks these days according to a sanitary protection specialist pimping glow-in-the-dark tampons. The manufacturers of RadiantPlugs periodwear said today that thou...
Breaking research from the public interest group Consumers Committee for Responsible Consumption (CCRC) shows that the blood of newborn babies, long-touted for its high iron content and other supposed health benefits, is actually detrimental not only...
Indian vegetarians have discovered that since McDonalds opened a chain of veggy restaurants in the country sex crimes have been reduced by 25% and men lying to their wives has radically been reduced by 50%! Non-consumption of meat products tends t...
Vegetarians based in Altrincham, Cheshire, have asked for a complete ban on bacon following the alarming news that more vegetarians have fallen off the wagon due to thinly sliced meat than for any other reason. "It's the smell of cooking bacon," s...
Many rodeo-goers expressed surprise, even shock, at the announcement that former United States president Bill Clinton would be the keynote speaker at the 2012 World Rodeo Convention in Houston, Texas. For one, media sources have in recent years repor...
An East Anglian man has been given the all clear by the High Court in London to eat his pet cat paving the way for more Britons to cook, fry, boil and roast their pets. The landmark decision is seen as triumph for civil liberties claim many watche...
The Conundrum Club, London, 1895 Colonel Gulper (CG): This Carpetbag Steak's damned chewy, what? Reverend Milke (RM): With respect, Colonel, that is a carpetbag you've got on your plate. CG: What? Of course it's a carpetbag, you fool. I just said it was a carpetbag, a deuced chewy one, or are you going deaf in your old age, Reverend, what? RM: No, Colonel, that is a bag, a carpet bag.
Ingrid Newkirk, President of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), and Kevin Lawson, President of the National Vegetarian Society, knew they needed a new approach to recruiting new vegetarians and vegans. "Americans weren't relating...
What if the law of the jungle were also the law of kindness, compassion, and love? Well, if East Village kitty Sammy Mesda has anything to do with it, one day it very well could be. Sammy, whose blackness, litheness, and sleekness can only call...
In an effort to solidify support in the Midwest, Mitt Romney held a press conference in Jefferson City, Missouri, to address what he called a "glaring gap" in Republican policy: nutrition. Romney told carnivorous voters that Missouri, the second-lead...
The makers of the Alpine brand of muesli have announced that they will soon be producing a vegetarian version of their famous muesli breakfast cereal. Whereas standard Alpine, and indeed most makes of muesli contain approximately two percent meat pr...
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