WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House insider, who is very close to the first daughter, has said that Ivanka is very upset and a bit on the depressed side. It seems that a highly-respected District of Colombia liposuction physian, Dr. Ferris P. Dogwood...
A man and his wife who are both fat bastards, have said they are unable to comply with the government's advice on social-distancing because of their issues with obesity. Richard and Julie Blobby, from Hull in East Yorkshire, both weigh around 20 s...
A study into the causes of obesity has concluded that the condition is almost certainly linked to whatever sufferers have stuffed down their gullets. The five-minute study undertaken by four men in a west Hull pub found that excessive bingeing on...
Concerned friends of Nanette Harper of Nashville, Tennessee, started to worry that Nanette had exceeded the extra 30 to 40 pounds that they all comfortably carry, and might be getting a little too fat. "It's a delicate subject, and you don't want...
MANDATORY automatic calorie limiters could soon be implanted into all new-born babies within the next three years, as new measures to slash obesity levels are introduced. Some MPs (the slimmer ones) have approved the fitment of a range of new impla...
Meghan Larson of disability-friendly New York City was devastated to learn that her blind boyfriend, Lance, wasn't that blind - and had been seeing another woman for over a year. "They say love is blind, and it was literally true in my case," sai...
The continuing heatwave which has seen temperatures across the UK rise to same levels as other countries across the world, has brought with it an influx of complaints. Apart from the usual "it's too bloody hot" whingers, the general public is comp...
A woman was today denied an ice cream by a seriously fat vendor in an ice cream van outside a school. The woman had had a particularly long, hot, difficult day at work had just been thinking that if there was an ice cream van parked outside the sc...
An elderly man from Louisburg, North Carolina has sued a well known weight loss program after losing fifteen pounds and three inches using their program. His suit is for reckless endangerment, false advertising and public humiliation. He appeared a...
Shrugging off warnings about heat exhaustion, dehydration, and running being hard on the joints, a small but committed sector of the American population continue to cling to their obsession with extreme sports, like jogging and power-walking. “It'...
A Syrian man named Abu is believed to be the fattest man alive and he is in love with a Mexican transgender according to celebrity gossip. His weight reached an incredible 500 kilograms and he smells like an old sardine can. Iman Ahmad Abdulati,...
Kim Jong's Buns - North Kiarrhea It was a bloody mess at the launching pad today as members of US special forces reported seeing a horrible missile test failure. When the Jongdong II missile ignited, it fissiled for several minutes. Kim Jong...
Only in Trumps America would such a move be considered in keeping with current equality laws. After recent pressure from 'large' groups of eatavists, several fast food restaurant chains have given in and applied a nationwide ban on healthy peopl...
We figured out what's behind the obesity epidemic plaguing liberal woman everywhere. And it's not what you think.. Liberal millennial women from all walks of life have decided to put their differences aside and work together, seeking answers to t...
Brits will spend £16billion on snacks, takeaways and sugary drinks this year. Scientists (those guys who are YET to cure racism) have said it's due to our extremely busy lifestyles. Back and to the Left news reckon it's to do with those aforementione...
With the peak of the summer season, the heat and humidity have locals concerned about the effect that local thunder-thighs have on the well-being of their neighborhood. As shorts get shorter, and tops become more cropped, it leaves much more room fo...
The Raleigh News & Observer is reporting this morning that a Raleigh police officer is suing Starbucks for one million dollars. His lawsuit states that he gained over three hundred pounds in three years from free donuts he had been given at the...
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