Roald Dahl wrote words in his time that are not in this time. To all writers everywhere, please stop writing. You are being offensive to the future, and the future is more important than your present. Did you use the word “the”? In the very NEA…
A new health food store has opened in Oklahoma, and many of the locals don’t like it … but not for the reason you think. It’s called “Trans Fat”, which is an odd name for a health food store. The Americans are okay with the word “fat” since, to th…
MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - An employee at Trump's Mar-a-Lago Estate Complex recently stated that the "Fat Racist" has been putting on weight like crazy. The landscaper who did not want his name mentioned stated to Boom Boom News reporter Haciend…
Maybe an elephant or a hippopotamus. Okay. But another guy? The other guy would have to be beyond obese. No one knows what's hidden behind the podium. However, Donald Trump is calling Florida's governor Ron DeSantis FAT. He also called DeSantis phony…
American hamburgers will soon be injected with more fat, according to the Food & Drug Administration. Americans have been losing weight by going to vast Trump rallies and/or protests, plus being perpetually scared of each other, wondering whic…
With the high price of oil and sanctions on Russia, Western countries are having to look to new sources of cheaper energy. France is increasing its number of nuclear power plants and the Netherlands is building more wind turbines. Meanwhile, the UK i…
50 Cent may have been fat shamed on the internet, but he’s not letting it slow him down. After his recent Super Bowl appearance, the rapper was mercilessly blasted on social media by critics and trolls who claimed that the musician has gained weig…
Having recently lost 4 and a half stone, Thomas Thompson was feeling good about himself, only for the look of disgust on his date's face to dent his confidence. 'I have a thing for bulkier chaps,' said date Zoe, 'and in his photos Tom was bulkier,…
Looking after your children properly and administering good advice is what being a parent is all about, and that's what one caring mom was thinking yesterday when she advised her four-year-old son that eating fruit and vegetables would make him big a…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House insider, who is very close to the first daughter, has said that Ivanka is very upset and a bit on the depressed side. It seems that a highly-respected District of Colombia liposuction physian, Dr. Ferris P. Dogwood...
A man and his wife who are both fat bastards, have said they are unable to comply with the government's advice on social-distancing because of their issues with obesity. Richard and Julie Blobby, from Hull in East Yorkshire, both weigh around 20 s...
A study into the causes of obesity has concluded that the condition is almost certainly linked to whatever sufferers have stuffed down their gullets. The five-minute study undertaken by four men in a west Hull pub found that excessive bingeing on...
Concerned friends of Nanette Harper of Nashville, Tennessee, started to worry that Nanette had exceeded the extra 30 to 40 pounds that they all comfortably carry, and might be getting a little too fat. "It's a delicate subject, and you don't want...
MANDATORY automatic calorie limiters could soon be implanted into all new-born babies within the next three years, as new measures to slash obesity levels are introduced. Some MPs (the slimmer ones) have approved the fitment of a range of new impla...
Meghan Larson of disability-friendly New York City was devastated to learn that her blind boyfriend, Lance, wasn't that blind - and had been seeing another woman for over a year. "They say love is blind, and it was literally true in my case," sai...
The continuing heatwave which has seen temperatures across the UK rise to same levels as other countries across the world, has brought with it an influx of complaints. Apart from the usual "it's too bloody hot" whingers, the general public is comp...
A woman was today denied an ice cream by a seriously fat vendor in an ice cream van outside a school. The woman had had a particularly long, hot, difficult day at work had just been thinking that if there was an ice cream van parked outside the sc...
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