Spring Break Mexico: Sex, Drugs, Beer, Party, No Passports

Funny story written by Moose&Squirell

Friday, 9 March 2007


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Spring Break stranded students without passports perform for money in Mexico

CANCUN,MEXICO (ASSOCIATED PROSE)Thousands and thousands of college aged students who have decided to travel south of the border are not being allowed back into the United States because they have misplaced their passports. The American consulate is being bombarded with telephone calls in getting these young adults some assistance. Mexican corruption & greed are not allowing help to get through, instead opportunist are taking advantage of the situation.

"Coyotes" have approached these teens and are asking high prices for a chance to board a container truck ready to smuggle them back across U.S. soil. The going rate $4000,00 per person in American dollars. Juan Valdez, a South American coffee grower has set up a kiosk for anyone looking to work in the coffee fields. They promise good pay, clean accommodations, burro rides and all the cocaine your little nose desires.

Swarms of Mexican bandits & gangs have attacked and brutalize these victims taking all their possessions leaving them with nothing but their suntans. Many young men are giving into prostitution and work with rich Mexican landowners to works as slaves & pets for the pleasure of the hacienda boss. Young women are being recruited to perform in "Sex with Donkey shows" or work in brothels located in the border towns as a way to raise the cash needed for escape.

Women have shaved their head and sold their long blond hair to wig companies. Those with talent can be seen along the boulevard singing Britney Spears hits along with juggler's, Gymnast performing acrobatic stunts and chess club members playing a peso a game at the parks. Young men with skateboard skills perform for money to exiting American families crossing back to the U.S. and asking if they live in their town for the chance to take messages to love ones back home.

For many their "Spring Break cold Corona vacation" has turned into a nightmare with no way out. Let this be a lesson to all those who have not left yet. "Stay in School, Wash Behind Your Ears & Stop Listening to Rap music!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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