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Funny satire stories about evangelicals

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Funny story: To End World Hunger, Vatican Scientists Replicate Transubstantiation

To End World Hunger, Vatican Scientists Replicate Transubstantiation

The Vatican—Saying “God has now miraculously revealed how to turn seven loaves and a few small fish into a worldwide smorgasbord,” a Vatican spokesperson announced today that their scientists have figured out the physics behind the process of transub...

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Funny story: Trump Will Let Evangelicals Take Over the Education Department

Trump Will Let Evangelicals Take Over the Education Department

Mar-A-Lago, FL In a move that surprised no one, President Donald Trump has decided to go for the evangelical vote in a big way, by allowing evangelicals to decide what the school curriculums will include, and what schools will be allowed to teach acr...

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Funny story: The Republicans’ Secret 2020 Weapon: The Moralyzer

The Republicans’ Secret 2020 Weapon: The Moralyzer

Much like the neuralyzer from Men in Black, Republicans have apparently come up with a device, called the Moralyzer, that allows Trump supporters to vote for a man completely devoid of character and morality, and forget that they once considered both...

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Funny story: Evangelicals Seize Moral High Ground by Rejecting Candidates who Overestimate DNA or Trespass in College

Evangelicals Seize Moral High Ground by Rejecting Candidates who Overestimate DNA or Trespass in College

Washington - Several months ago, members of the Evangelical Right movement pounced on Senator Elizabeth Warren for claiming Native American ancestry based on family stories rather than DNA testing, which was not available decades ago at the time of...

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Funny story: The Ten Commandments in the Age of Trump

The Ten Commandments in the Age of Trump

Thou shalt have no other gods before me (except for me, the President). Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in or on one of my hotels, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth, especially sharks. (I’m not sure why I created them.) For I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, tweeting iniquities about your kids and their...

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Funny story: Harvey Weinstein moves to Alabama and immediately sets up gubernatorial election campaign

Harvey Weinstein moves to Alabama and immediately sets up gubernatorial election campaign

In preparation for the 2018 election, former movie mogul Harvey Weinstein moved his personal residence to Alabama and expressed keen interest in becoming the state's next Governor. The move surprised many, as Weinstein never showed much interest in...

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Funny story: Mary Magdalene Tell-all: "Jesus Was a Lousy Lay, But a Pretty Good Talker."

Mary Magdalene Tell-all: "Jesus Was a Lousy Lay, But a Pretty Good Talker."

HEAVEN--Random Event Publishing, Inc., the main publishing house for Heaven, released last week, amid much controversy, the long-awaited tell-all by Jesus's follower and consort Mary Magdalene. In the tell-all Mary talks, to some extent, about her...

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Funny story: Charles Manson To Appear On Dancing With The Stars

Charles Manson To Appear On Dancing With The Stars

In an age where the American public worships celebrities it is no surprise that Olympian Ryan Lochte is appearing on Dancing With The Stars. Lochte gained fame by being caught lying about being robbed at gunpoint at a gas station whose restroom he...

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Funny story: Rick Warren, Cardinal Baloney Give Advice To Obama

Rick Warren, Cardinal Baloney Give Advice To Obama

In the U.S., critics say, the terms "faith based," "religion," and "family values" cut off thinking in the American brain, generating endorphins and sometimes evoking nods and smiles. Now, after the Hobby Lobby decision allowing "faith based" tigh...

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Funny story: General Synod To Vote On A Boycott Of The Laws Of Physics

General Synod To Vote On A Boycott Of The Laws Of Physics

Controversy within the Church of England has intensified today on the eve of a crucial vote by the General Synod as to whether Christians should defy some of the laws of physics. 'We are sick of scientists not taking seriously our religious Truths...

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Funny story: WV anti-bullying law unfair to Evangelical, straight kids says pastor

WV anti-bullying law unfair to Evangelical, straight kids says pastor

CHARLESTON, West Virginia (ABSNN) - Jeremy Dys of The Family Policy Council told state legislators Friday that West Virginia's anti-bullying policy in its 55 county school districts "is unfair to evangelical students." "We have been forced by an u...

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Funny story: My life as a man #29

My life as a man #29

Castor oil, Fox News, MSNBC, and nekkid chicks on air! When I was a young kid, I knew better than to tell my Dad that I had a belly-ache. I knew better because I knew what my Dad would do if I told him my gut hurt. He was an old school mountain farmer: he used plant extracts he called "Lightning Hot drops," or, if he was a bit hung over, he used the all-time, get-even-with-your-children, gut-...

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Funny story: Satan's Face Seen in Eyjafjallajökull Ash Cloud

Satan's Face Seen in Eyjafjallajökull Ash Cloud

Pentecoastal preacher Morris Cerillo, leader of the radical right wing evangelist cult, the Christian Fist of Humility, saw the face of Satan in the ash cloud hanging over the Eyjafjallajökull volcano last week. "I've come face to face with Satan...

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Funny story: Three weeks of retro-engineering cures Ted Haggard of homosexuality

Three weeks of retro-engineering cures Ted Haggard of homosexuality

Colorado Springs - (ReUterus): Following a three week course of immunization jabs, colonic irrigation therapy, a pilgrimage to the crystal healing waters of the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fountain AND a semi-hypnotic suggestion from Mrs Haggar...

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