Hello, right-thinking Christian Americans … now that the GOP have a speaker with a mallet to pound and decree crazy shit … everything in the country is fine, just fine … nothing will ever go wrong on the Republican’s watch. Just forget all those pesk…
American Mothers for the Prevention of Everything Non-Christian (or "Moms for Liberty") have stated that they will be boycotting Halloween this year since it is a pagan holiday where devil worshippers lure unsuspecting virgins with candy and take the…
Corinthians 13:4-8 (from the DJTV) 4 Trump is not patient, Trump is not kind. He envies everyone, he boasts like a drunken soldier, he is proud. 5 He dishonors others, he is self-seeking, he is easily angered, he keeps a long record of wrongs. 6 T…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – iRumors has just broken the story that President Biden has called for a thorough investigation into allegations that there are many fake evangelicals operating in the Midwest; namely Iowa, Kansas, and Missouri. P…
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Silver Screen Showcase Magazine has just announced that the powers-that-be have decided to pull “Snow White and The 7 Dwarfs” from the film library. The decision was due to a lawsuit that had been filed in behalf of 24,…
TOPEKA, Kansas – (Satire News) – An evangelical group calling itself The Anti-Democratic Crusaders, has been trying for the past four years to get the words vagina and penis, banned from public places in Iowa, such as nail salons, strip lounges, mass…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind has received an envelope which contained a secret recording, that was made of First Lady Melania Trump uttering some sailor-like vulgarities. The tape, which was provided by Wikileaks, had Melania r…
SHEOL—Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the new Press Secretary for Satan, announced today that the Dark Lord is opening a new circle in Hell, specifically for the overflow of Evangelicals who have been flooding His underworld domain ever since the 2016 electi…
SIOUX CITY, Iowa – After following him like baby ducklings behind their mama, Evangelicals are now starting to wake up and see the full picture, the picture that has always been in front of their holier-than-thou countenances. And many of them are…
Corn Shuck, Iowa – A group of very devoted evangelicals, who had been blindly following President Donald Trump, met at a Knights of Ponce De Leon Meeting Hall. The spokesperson of the group, who said his name was Marco Polo, stated that they have...
JOPLIN, Missouri - An Evangelical minister who did not want his name mentioned, for fear of being burned at the stake, said that there is a lot of dissension among the ranks of the righteous brothers and sisters. He divulged that more than half of...
The Vatican—Saying “God has now miraculously revealed how to turn seven loaves and a few small fish into a worldwide smorgasbord,” a Vatican spokesperson announced today that their scientists have figured out the physics behind the process of transub...
Mar-A-Lago, FL In a move that surprised no one, President Donald Trump has decided to go for the evangelical vote in a big way, by allowing evangelicals to decide what the school curriculums will include, and what schools will be allowed to teach acr...
Much like the neuralyzer from Men in Black, Republicans have apparently come up with a device, called the Moralyzer, that allows Trump supporters to vote for a man completely devoid of character and morality, and forget that they once considered both...
Washington - Several months ago, members of the Evangelical Right movement pounced on Senator Elizabeth Warren for claiming Native American ancestry based on family stories rather than DNA testing, which was not available decades ago at the time of...
Thou shalt have no other gods before me (except for me, the President). Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in or on one of my hotels, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth, especially sharks. (I’m not sure why I created them.) For I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, tweeting iniquities about your kids and their...
In preparation for the 2018 election, former movie mogul Harvey Weinstein moved his personal residence to Alabama and expressed keen interest in becoming the state's next Governor. The move surprised many, as Weinstein never showed much interest in...
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