All Media to Become Christian in the New Extremist USA

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Wednesday, 5 October 2022

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No Media But Christian Media

Newt Gingrich (a guy named Newt … and this man is an authority on what exactly?) likes Herschel Walker ‘cuz of “his deep commitment to Christ”.

A separation of church and state? These Reps aren’t even trying to pretend such a necessary divide exists. Soon, every media outlet in America will start with a prayer – to Christ, not to any god but him.

Jews? Are you listening? Don’t think all Christians are on your side cuz they hope and pray that the world will die and then Jesus will come back to make furniture with his carpentry skills. When they shit comes down, they’ll forget that Jesus was Jewish – he was from Alabama and they’ll find the “science” that says the same.

You won’t be able to get news without knowing what Jesus thinks of it, or what people who speak for him thinks he would think about it. Yes, very confusing, but no religious person has ever been able to make a decent argument against a scientist or anyone who uses reason and logic. All they can do is quote some dumbass scripture written by an old horny lonely man long ago who hated that no one would fuck his ugly ass, so he created a religion with “laws” and forced everybody to feel shame for wanting to fuck and not invite him to the party. (Moses is the glaring example, but Jesus comes in a close second … some of those disciples must have at least given him a handjob.)

“No media but Christian media.” That will be the new Fox News logo (instead of “We Are All Domestic Terrorists”). Wait for it. Watch for it. (I will be soon converting to Buddhism. Do they make wars? When was the last Buddhist war?)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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