MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump says he is so mad he could slap his stupid goofy son Eric non-stop for four minutes.
Donaldo, as his estranged wife Melania Knavs Trump calls him, is so upset he has gone from eating 9 Big Macs a day down to only 7.
He told his one and only devoted friend Greg "The Rodent" Gutfeld that now that he does not have his passports his plans to escape to Scotland have gone down the effen drain.
Greg suggested that maybe he can cross into Mexico and see about getting a fake passport made for about 4 or 5 dollars.
Then he can simply fly to Scotland on Mexico's Aero Mariachi Airways.
Trump loved the idea and he told Gutfeld that if he ("Gutty") was a woman he would kiss her/him all over her/his sexy, sensuously erotic body.
