NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The BuzzFuzz News Agency, along with dozens of other high profile news agencies, are all reporting that The Trumpturd was so damn nervous during his four-hour hearing that the 345¼ pound Tub of Lard, ate nine (9) McDonalds Big Macs.
The hearing' Seargeant-at-arms told BuzzFuzz reporter Tafetta Kixx that Old Trumplestilskin was sweating like a whore in church.
The Nazi-lover at one point even asked the judge if he could be given a Bud Light beer in order to calm down his nerves.
The judge replied by saying, "Are you fucking kidding me? Sit your fucking ass down. All you have done during this hearing is reply to every damn question by saying that you plead the fifth, which truth be told, tells me that you are one guilty-as-shit son-of-a-bitch!!!"
Trump, now looking oranger than ever, replied, "I guess that's a no."