NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The Cosmos News Service stated that The Pied Piper of The Potomac (i.e. Trump), has gone from having 19 million supporters to only having 5 or 600.
CNS reporter Amanda Aquatina was in the courthouse, and she said that Trump looked like he had been beat about the face with a sackful of bowling balls.
His hair was unkempt, his nose looked like the nose of the alcohol-addicted comedian W.C. Fields, and his shirt was actually turned inside out.
Miss Aquatina said that when he was asked a question, he immediately jumped all over the lawyer for the state. Judge Quantaneesha Jackson, told him to shut his spit-dribbling mouth and just answer yes or no.
Trump tried to explain some of his habitual bullshit, but Judge Jackson told him that he was not sitting in his Mar-a-Lago mansion where he can act like a fucking king or even like the all-controlling grand wizard of the KKK.
"Lard Belly" Trump then proceeded to plead the fifth, 883 times, even when he was asked by the judge if he wanted to take a two-minute break so he could go and drain his "Lap Acorn" (penis).
SIDENOTE: Trump's former attorney general, Bill Barr noted that the reason why "Plump Trump" who is now up to 345¼ pounds pleaded the fifth 883 times, is because the Nazi-looking, riot-inciting bastard is as GUILTY-AS-SHIT!
