MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - The Miami Globe Gazette is reporting that Melania, is one very, very angry Slovenian female, after FBI agents and Green Beret troops raided The Trump's Mar-a-Lago Compound.
Melania spoke with Globe Gazette reporter Jefferson Sierra, and she told him that she doesn't give a shit if the FBI guys took all of Donaldo's damn computers and even his inflatable doll collection.
But she wants to know why the fuck they took a bunch of her dresses, her jeans, her Daisy Duke shorts shorts, her imported Italian strap sandals, her swimsuits, and about two dozen of her panties, including a pair of Victoria's Secret pink crotchless panties that Lebron (James) had given to her.
She also wants to know why they even took some of her personal cosmetics, including lipsticks, eye liners, perfume, and even two boxes of her Cinderella Pantiliners.
SIDENOTE: Jeff Sierra with the Globe Gazette stated that Melania is so mad she called up famed attorney Gloria Allred and asked her to defend her. Allred, who is a hard core anti-Trump Democrat reportedly told her to "GO FUCK YOURSELF BITCH!!!"
