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Funny satire stories about Josh Hawley

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Funny story: A Mar-a-Lago Maid Says That Donald Trump and Josh Hawley Like To Get In The Hot Tub Totally Nude

A Mar-a-Lago Maid Says That Donald Trump and Josh Hawley Like To Get In The Hot Tub Totally Nude

MAR-A-LAGO, Florida - (Satire News) - The Lighthouse Press News Agency has broken the story that the Trumpturd likes to get in the hot tub with one of his last remaining friends; Josh "The Chicken Shit" Hawley totally al-fresco. The maid, who aske…

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Funny story: Josh "Sissy Britches" Hawley Said That After Getting Millions and Millions of Threats He Is Thinking About Moving To Iraq

Josh "Sissy Britches" Hawley Said That After Getting Millions and Millions of Threats He Is Thinking About Moving To Iraq

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The Wild Whispers News Agency is reporting that the biggest wimp in the entire United States says that he is receiving threats of bodily harm every 17 seconds. Hawley, who is one of the Trumpturd's few remaining…

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Funny story: Josh Hawley aka "Pussy Boy" Begs President Biden To Please Put Him In The Witness Protection Program

Josh Hawley aka "Pussy Boy" Begs President Biden To Please Put Him In The Witness Protection Program

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Josh "The Wimpy Coward" Hawley is catching hell from all sides after nine Capitol cameras caught him running like a runner in the 100-yard dash through the halls of the Capitol Building, in an effort to get away fro…

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Funny story: Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley Are Now Officially America's Two Limp-Wristed, Spineless Punks

Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley Are Now Officially America's Two Limp-Wristed, Spineless Punks

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - A very reputable west coast magazine has just named Ted "Dracula" Cruz and Josh "Scaredy Cat" Hawley as co-winners of their annual "Limp Wristed, Spineless Punk Award." The Left Coast Mirror Magazine has picked t…

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Funny story: Hawley’s Holy Stank

Hawley’s Holy Stank

Josh Hawley has signed a new deal with Insurrection Deodorant, a subsidiary of Halliburton Oil Invasion Solutions and Proud Boys Clothing Line. Does your deodorant let you down just when the mob is forming and storming? Does being a two-faced p…

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Funny story: Josh Hawley Is The Biggest Scaredy Cat Pussy In America

Josh Hawley Is The Biggest Scaredy Cat Pussy In America

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Josh Hawley has just been named The Biggest Pussy in Washington D.C. Vice President Kamala Harris said that the junior limp-wristed senator from Missouri appears to have some of "Cheeto Face" Trump's wimpish DNA…

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Funny story: Senator Josh Hawley Sprints To Safety

Senator Josh Hawley Sprints To Safety

Senator Josh Hawley was filmed proudly pumping his fist, showing his solidarity with the MAGA mob before the MAGA mob broke into the Capitol building on January 6th. Afterward, Senator Josh Hawley was filmed running through the halls of the Capito…

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Funny story: Josh Hawley: “I Only Ran From the Capitol Riot Because My Daughters Wanted to Go to Cancun”

Josh Hawley: “I Only Ran From the Capitol Riot Because My Daughters Wanted to Go to Cancun”

Washington - Missouri Senator and all-around douchebag Josh Hawley claimed that he ran like a scared rabbit from the January 6th Capitol rioters he had only a few hours earlier given a fist salute because he was “running late to catch a flight to Can…

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Funny story: Some Good News for Governor Cuomo

Some Good News for Governor Cuomo

It has been a rough week for the Honorable Andrew Cuomo, New York’s beleaguered governor. Everyone from President Biden to the entire New York congressional delegation is calling on the governor to resign following a report issued by New York’s…

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Funny story: Update on The Donald J Trump POS Award

Update on The Donald J Trump POS Award

The Donald J Trump POS Award Foundation appreciates the positive response to its mission and the nominations it has received from the general public. This update will discuss two nominations for the award. The first is Donald J. Trump himse…

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Funny story: Where the Wild Things Were (or, Ted Cruz’s Attempted Coup)

Where the Wild Things Were (or, Ted Cruz’s Attempted Coup)

(With apologies to Maurice Sendak) The year Ted went to Congress and made mischief of one kind and another, Ben Sasse called him "CHILD THING!" and Ted said "I’LL OVERTURN A DEMOCRATIC AND FAIR ELECTION!” So he stomped off to the Senate chamber to…

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