CUYAHOGA FALLS, Ohio - (Satire News) - GOP Illustrated Magazine took a poll of Republican readers and asked who they would vote for in the 2024 presidential election.
Out of a total of 29,000 readers, who said they voted for Trump twice, only 69 said that they would vote for him again.
One former devoted Trump supporter, Nate "Bubba" Sodawax of Horny Deer, Oklahoma, said that he wants the Orange Piece of Shit to return the $7.35 that he donated to his campaign.
He added that he wants Trump to eat shit and just fucking go the fuck away.
1. Mike Pence - 12,899
2. Bill Barr - 7,914
3. Ivanka Trump - 4,516
4. Clint Eastwood - 949
5. A Fucking Monkey - 917
6. Marjorie Taylor Greene's Beaver - 769
7. Sponge Bob Square Pants - 551
8. Melania Trump - 413
9. The Pussy Grabber- (DJT) 69
10. Greg Abbott - 3
The GOP Illustrated Magazine poll has a percentage error margin of .00000006.
