BAKED POTATO, Idaho – (Satire News) – A majority of the members of the Grand Old Party are shaking in their snow boots at the thought that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump could possibly be their 2024 GOP presidential stalwart.
Most say that they want a proven winner, like former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, and not the same-old-Nazi-lovin', tax-evading, pussy-grabbing, lying sack of whale shit that is "Old Toddler Fingers."
One long-time Republican, Matilda Barleycorn, 87, who said she voted for Trump twice, remarked that she wouldn’t vote for the “Orange-colored loser,” if he gave her $6,000 in $20 bills.
She then added that she wouldn’t even vote for the Trumptard, if he offered to grab her 87-year-old, octogenarian pussy.
When Matilda's 83-year-old husband, Buford heard what she said about not taking the $6,000, he chimed in saying, "Are you kidding me woman! For $6,000 Trump can not only grab your 87-year-old, octogenarian pussy, he can also have you give him 2 or 3 of them blowin'-jobs!"
Meanwhile, DJT recently told his BFF Sean "Fred Flintstone” Hannity that he makes it a point to never, ever grab any pussy that’s over 48-years-old.
