WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – After an extensive investigation that took 77 days, at a cost of $2.3 million, the District of Columbia has issued an arrest warrant for one Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump on grounds of misappropriation of government funds.
The leading investigator, Cyrus Slickmund, 43, informed Vox Populi reporter Tapioca Swizzle, that Trump personally told him that he is untouchable and that he came very close to becoming America’s first king when he was in office.
Slickmund, also informed old "Lying Tongue," that the D.C. chapter of the Black Lives Matter is getting ready to hit him with a $53 million racial discrimination lawsuit, which some of the country’s leading attorneys say is easily winnable.
In the meantime, Las Vegas bookies are giving 70 to 1 odds that "Baby Fingers" Trump will find himself dressed in an orange prison jumpsuit by early January of 2022.
SIDENOTE: Miss Swizzle reported that Melania is just about at the end of her rope and has even blocked Donaldo on her Facebook account.
