NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - A very close friend of Donald Trump, who refused to give his name, stated that DJT is livid and is angrier than a woodpecker with a mouth infection.
The friend, who information guru Andy Cohen said is Jim “The Wrestling Weirdo” Jordan, stated to Boom Boom News reporter Hacienda Fiddle, that his hero heard from his BFF Sean Hannity that the city of New York has issued a mandate condemning Trump Tower.
The mandate which was unanimously signed by all 17 members of the NYC city council states that TT (Trump Tower) is being condemned because it is infested with lots of extremely dangerous insects including, Tunisian termites, cannibal cicadas, blood-sucking katydids, Sicilian spitting scorpions, and dickless dung dragonflies.
Trump told CNN’s Don Lemon that it is all nothing more than a damn witch hunt, a hideous hoax, and a way to get his blood pressure up causing his orange complexion to turn even more oranger.
Lemon giggled like a 16-year-old schoolgirl and told the Trumptard that all of the 30,000 plus lies that he has told are coming back to haunt his racist, predatorial orange ass!
