ANNAPOLIS, Maryland – (Satire News) – The Department of the Navy has just issued permission to have the latest, state-of-the-art Polaris submarine named after the president’s wife.
Ipso Facto News reporter Fuchsia Garfunkel stated that the newest American naval vessel will be christened The USS First Lady Dr. Jill Biden.
Appropriately, the dedication ceremonies will be held on Pearl Harbor Day at the famed Davy Jones Locker Shipyard located in downtown Annapolis.
White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki has announced that several high profile dignitaries will be in attendance including The Barack Obama’s and The George Bushes, from the political world, Jose Altuve and Tom and Gisele Brady form the sport’s world, Mr. and Mrs. Jimmy Kimmel form the late night show world, and from the entertainment world Oprah Winfrey, Howard Stern, and popular rapper Zombie Zulu Yo (who is the first lady's favorite rap music artist).
Ms. Psaki added that England’s Queen Elizabeth has been invited and it is rumored that she will be attending with her long time close friend Piers Morgan.
World-famous photographer Picasso Mandolin will be taking the official photographs and the event will be catered by The Catering Culinarian Cuties of Cleveland.