SAN FRANCISCO – (Satire News) – The head of the San Francisco city council called an emergency meeting at 2:30 am, after she learned that the Chinese Navy was conducting naval war game maneuvers a mere 3 miles from the city.
Maggie P. Safari, 42, who recently got divorced for the fourth time, told the news media that she is furious that China thinks that it is okay to conduct their naval business so close to the United States mainland.
She talked to the Chinese ambassador to the US, Ching Chow Mein Rein and he told her that if she opens up the official Chinese book on naval maneuvers, she will see that on page 503, paragraph 4, sentence 3 it clearly states “China has the right to conduct their naval maneuvers anywhere that they want, including 3 miles from any city in California, Oregon, or Washington.”
Ms. Safari, said that she is going to text Vice-President Kamala Harris and report Ambassador Ching Chow Mein Rein and request that he be expelled within 10 hours.
Meanwhile the commander of the Chinese naval flotilla Rear Admiral Yoshikito Kawasaki, stated that this Safari women needs to concern herself with why she can’t keep a husband and not worry about how close the Chinese navy gets to Frisco.
In Other News. Clint Eastwood who is 91, wants to dispel the rumor that one of the Los Angeles Laker girls is pregnant with his child.