IN THE GULF OF MEXICO OFF THE MISSISSIPPI COAST - (Satire News) - The White House is reporting that the USS Idaho has just sunk a submarine that the CIA had verified was carrying 345¼ pounds of refined Cartagena Snow Candy (Cocaine). The US Navy h…
The American aircraft carrier USS Gerald R. Ford, the most expensive warship ever built that's named after a former president that liked to fall down stairs all across the country, is finally ready for duty. The U.S. Navy has approved the ship for re…
ANNAPOLIS, Maryland – (Satire News) – The Department of the Navy has just issued permission to have the latest, state-of-the-art Polaris submarine named after the president’s wife. Ipso Facto News reporter Fuchsia Garfunkel stated that the newest…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki informed the news media that the president has made good on his promise to protect the island of Japan. POTUS has sent some strong messages to Chinese President Xi Jinping an…
THE GULF OF THAILAND – (Satire News) – The USS Jimmy Carter, is sad to report that they have sunk a Cambodian fishing boat that carelessly crossed in front of them. Captain Keith P. Gunnmelo stated that his chief radarman mistook the fishing boat…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Pentagon is keeping very hush-hush, the dozens of unidentified flying objects sightings, that have occurred just in the last month. One American battleship, The USS Marilyn Monroe reported spotting 7 UFO’s in…
ARLINGTON, Virginia - Reports from several of the nation’s leading newspapers, say that the world’s cruise lines are expressing great concern over the recent rumors coming out of the Swampland (aka D.C.) A representative for The Wonder Cruise Lin...
Following all the controversy, Mr. Trump decided to return to Japan to visit USS John McCain DDG 56, and set the record straight. The destroyer honors not only Senator McCain, but his father and grandfather, both previously admirals in the US Nav...
Unnamed sources have claimed that the White House asked for a warship named after "President" Donald Trump's late rival, Senator John McCain, to be obscured during the president's trip to Japan. Following the reports, the Navy Chief of Information...
Specialists aboard an aircraft carrier off the coast of North Korea have broken through what appears to be secret code used in Kim Jong Un territory. Commanded by Admiral J. “Caesar” Whittlebane, the carrier’s crew was deeply shocked recently when...
Just north of Venezuela's Isla de Margarita in international waters, there has been another international incident involving the U.S. Navy: a hummingbird, identified as a species from Venezuela and Columbia, buzzed the USS Ronald Reagan and its crew...
Spanish navy and survey vessels were given an ultimatum by U.S. and British Navy Chiefs this morning. They were told to observe International Maritime Law and allow the vessels to pass unhindered through the Straits of Gibraltar. Chief of Navy S...
Washington D.C. (LGBT Picayune) - The United States' aircraft carrier John C. Stennis, CVN-74, has filed suit in Federal District Court in Washington D.C. over the U.S. Navy's refusal to grant the carrier transgender status. For centuries around...
America's relation to nuclear energy is once again problematic. This time it is sailors training on nuclear reactors cheating on tests involving classified material. A navy investigation is underway as 30 senior enlisted seamen have been suspended...
SEA OF JAPAN - The world's most powerful nuclear submarines, The USS Great White Shark is so sophisticatedly advanced that its electronic guidance system has the capability of seeing a freckle on North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's Adam's apple. Rep...
How I got kicked out of Divinity School, Lost my virginity and won the Vietnam War Or God's own warrior wins the piece It all begins with the war in Vietnam, my story does. I was in high school in Charleston, West Virginia and was faced with the inevitable for a young man in the United States during the late 1960's: the Selective Service Act or the Draft. I had not thought too much abou...
Los Angeles - There were a few tense moments at the recruiting station today as Ms. Alley attempted to enter, albeit sideways. Things went a bit better after the door was removed, but not much. Once she caught her breath, she announced, "I'...
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