Guatemala Finally Finds a Buyer For Their Destroyer and Their Submarine

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 17 August 2020

image for Guatemala Finally Finds a Buyer For Their Destroyer and Their Submarine
A photo of the GS Empanada as it was conducting naval war games in April off the coast of Russia.

GUATEMALA CITY – (Satire News) - President Alejandro Giammattei is happy to announce that he has finally found a buyer for the destroyer and the submarine that Guatemala had put on the market a few months ago.

He said that, since the nation is in a serious financial bind, and owes money to 17 countries, it was decided to sell the two naval vessels to get much-needed capital.

The vessels were purchased by none other than multi-billionaire American Jeff Bezos of Amazon.

The entrepreneur was ecstatic at getting the vessels for such an amazing price.

Jeff purchased the destroyer, the GS Empanada, for $17,000, and the submarine, the GS Esmeralda (formerly the GS Crack Cocaine Numero 6), for $875.

The Amazon magnate told reporters that he will use the two vessels to deliver Amazon products to Mexico, Central America, Colombia and Pisagovia.

Amazon’s chief director of purchasing says that he figures that they will have to spend about $13,000 to do several repairs on the destroyer, and roughly about $650 to get the submarine back in tip-top shape.

Guatemala owes the United States a little over $3 million, so President Giammattei will put some of the $17,875 he received from Bezos towards that bill.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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