WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Pentagon is keeping very hush-hush, the dozens of unidentified flying objects sightings, that have occurred just in the last month.
One American battleship, The USS Marilyn Monroe reported spotting 7 UFO’s in just a 35 minute period.
Radarman Murray P. Ropentula, told the iRumors News Agency that he is regarded as the best radarman in the entire United States Navy.
He spoke with iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli over the phone, and he told her that the UFO’s he saw were all sterling silver in color.
Ropentula commented that with his fantastic expertise and fabulous knowledge, he is able to be 99.7% certain that they have the earmarks of space ships from the planet Uranus.
The Radarman, was told by his superiors to keep his opinions to himself.
But he stated that he is an American, and he can say whatever the hell he wants, just as long as he is not using vulgar language, like the type that comedian Ricky Gervais employs in his Las Vegas acts.
SIDENOTE: Radarman Ropentula told Miss Vermicelli that he has been asked to appear on “The View” and show some of his personal UFO photos.