Border Patrol Agents Sink a Canadian Submarine Trying To Smuggle Pot into the USA

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 15 June 2020

image for Border Patrol Agents Sink a Canadian Submarine Trying To Smuggle Pot into the USA
The marijuana submarine named "Lola" before it was destroyed by Border Patrol agents.

DETROIT – Members of the United States Border Patrol report that they have sunk a submarine, in Lake Erie, that was carrying 265 pounds of marijuana.

Agent Charlize Buckbush, 29, stated that the strain of marijuana, known as Montreal Moronic, is one of Canada’s most popular, especially with adults over the age of 60.

The cannabis is reported to have a street value of $257,005.

Agent Buckbush added that, along with the pot, agents also seized $97,375 in Canadian quarters, and 805 pounds of prime Canadian bacon.

All of the haul was removed from the sub and placed in a U-Haul truck.

The submarine, named "Lola", was then sunk by hitting it 14 times with an X-003 Bam-Bam Rocket Launcher.

According to a Border Patrol spokesman, the marijuana was taken to the mayor’s office, and the quarters were placed in a safe at the mayor's home.

Meanwhile, the Canadian bacon was distributed to hundreds of happy, cheering homeless people in Detroit, Dearborn, and Wyandotte.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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