Feral Hogs Blamed For Maricopa County Election Discrepancies

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 9 November 2021

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Lipstick On A Pig

BILLINGSGATE POST: After nearly a year of counting and recounting ballots in the disputed election which handed Joe Biden his victory in Arizona, it was found that over 120,000 ballots were cast by feral hogs who took advantage of Arizona’s loose voter identification protocol, especially in Maricopa County.

It is said that you can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig. That is exactly what the Democrats did. Somehow they corralled all of the feral hogs in the county, put lipstick on them and registered them to vote.

One local hog farmer, who claims to know a pig when he sees one - let’s call him Ken - related a story about his favorite brooder sow being pignapped while pregnant. He estimates that at least twelve of the sow’s brood eventually cast their votes for Biden. This is but one of hundreds of stories that reflect on the validity of the 2020 election that created the “hog wild” atmosphere in the most populous county in Arizona.

To put this in perspective, it is estimated that there are more than 6 million feral hogs that were registered to vote in the states that decided the election. In some states they are merely a nuisance, rooting up grubs and trampling down vegetation as they roam the countryside. In Texas, there is a bounty on them. In Blue states, these same hogs are treated like kings.

It’s hard to think of any linguistic associations with pigs that aren’t pejorative: ‘Lazy pig’, ‘ugly pig’, ‘greedy pig’, ‘smelly pig’…the list is endless. Most such expressions in Shakespeare identify the animal as either lazy or greedy. In The Taming of the Shrew, Lord says of the drunken beggar, ‘How like a swine he lies!’


Dr. Slim: “Then the quintessential question has to be: Is a pig’s ass pork?”

Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. Let America decide this on Thanksgiving.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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