“Let’s Go Elmer.” Chant Breaks Out In Beaver Crossing, Nebraska

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 2 November 2021

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Elmer Smuckmeister

BILLINGSGATE POST: The three-word chant has become an internet sensation after an NBC reporter at the annual Beaver Crossing Cow Pie Throwing Contest incorrectly reported that fans in the stands were chanting "Let’s Go Elmer” following a colossal cow pie toss by Elmer Smuckmeister when they were really shouting, "F*ck Joe Biden!"

Smuckmeister was hardly a stranger to controversy. A few years back, he was charged for attempting to arrange a ménage a trois poopathon with two octogenarian widows in a three-holer outhouse located on his farm just a few miles from Beaver Crossing.

Also, but apparently without merit, was a rumor that Elmer had a tryst with one of his sheep, a woolly beauty of questionable character who claimed that Elmer attempted to poke her from behind while holding a Montana Pole. Her name is currently being withheld because of her age. The case is still pending.

To further complicate things, an airline pilot was recorded while addressing the passengers saying, “Let’s Go Elmer.” Everyone knows that this was just a circumlocution for “F*ck Joe Biden.” And now the liberal press is trying to make a big deal of it.

Glossary: Montana Pole: A device consisting of an old pitchfork handle with a mirror attached to one end, to be placed in front of sheep’s head to record if sheep is smiling while be poked from behind by said prevert.

Dr. Slim: “Make my day. Say it ain’t true, Elmer.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. One can only ask if Biden even understands the joke.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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