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Funny satire stories about Elmer Smuckmeister

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Funny story: Wolfman Jack Statue Toppled: Anguished Howls Heard In The Night

Wolfman Jack Statue Toppled: Anguished Howls Heard In The Night

BILLINGSGATE POST: Who would dare defy the God of Wolves? A self-styled demon himself, Wolfman Jack patterned himself after Fenrir, a monstrous wolf of Norse mythology. Fenrir was the issue of the demoniac god Loki and an Amazonian giantess named…

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Funny story: JoJo, A Blue Heeler-Terrier Mix, Befuddles Hen House Invader

JoJo, A Blue Heeler-Terrier Mix, Befuddles Hen House Invader

BILLINGSGATE POST: Who would have thought that a chance encounter between a Jack Russell Terrier and a Blue Heeler would produce JoJo? Terriers are typically small, wiry, game and fearless, while Blue Heelers are herders, known for their quirky pen...

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Funny story: No Holes Matter: Rioters Topple Outhouse Of Elmer Smuckmeister

No Holes Matter: Rioters Topple Outhouse Of Elmer Smuckmeister

BILLINGSGATE POST: It is not a good time to be seen riding a bronze horse in a city park, or to be a statue of Columbus. Nor is it a good time to be taking a crap in an outhouse in Beaver Crossing, Nebraska. As always, timing is everything.

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Funny story: Elmer Smuckmeister Takes Knee While Proposing To Lizzie The Sheep

Elmer Smuckmeister Takes Knee While Proposing To Lizzie The Sheep

BILLINGSGATE POST: It didn’t have to be this way. But Elmer Smuckmeister finally gave in to his inner-self. After years of trying to court the available ladies in Beaver Crossing, he threw in the towel. Elmer got down on one knee and proposed to L...

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Funny story: Smuckmeister Claims He Washed Hands So Many Times He Found Old Algebra Test Notes

Smuckmeister Claims He Washed Hands So Many Times He Found Old Algebra Test Notes

BILLINGSGATE POST: Here we go again. Elmer Smuckmeister of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, is at once more. He claims, that because of the Coronavirus scare, he washes his hands at least 60 times a day. “The other day, he related, “I looked at my palm...

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Funny story: Motorized BarcaLoungers Replace Scooters In Beaver Crossing

Motorized BarcaLoungers Replace Scooters In Beaver Crossing

BILLINGSGATE POST: A mad genius? Perhaps. Elmer Smuckmeister, a retired farmer and bon vivant, who made and lost fortunes by thinking outside the envelope, was the first to purchase a scooter franchise in the early days of this revolutionary transp...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Meet Elmer Smuckmeister In Cow Pie Throwing Contest

Harry Maguire To Meet Elmer Smuckmeister In Cow Pie Throwing Contest

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a special to be aired on prime time TV next Sunday, Elmer Smuckmeister will go up against Manchester United football icon, Harry Maguire, in a cow pie throwing contest. With the Coronavirus pandemic virtually shutting down al...

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Funny story: Elmer Smuckmeister Strikes Again

Elmer Smuckmeister Strikes Again

BILLINGSGATE POST: Elmer Smuckmeister was not your typical 80-year-old geezer. He was born at night, but not last night. Over the years, he hadn’t had much luck in his love life. There wasn’t much to choose from in his hometown of Beaver Crossing,...

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Funny story: Misanthrope Accepts Social Distancing With A Wry Smile

Misanthrope Accepts Social Distancing With A Wry Smile

BILLINGSGATE POST: When Elmer Smuckmeister heard that the Mayor of Beaver Crossing was making social distancing mandatory in this small farm town in Nebraska, the corners of his pie hole turned upwards. Elmer was not fond of the usual courtesies...

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Funny story: Silly Woman Offended When Told She Should Feel Nuts

Silly Woman Offended When Told She Should Feel Nuts

BILLINGSGATE POST: When in doubt, don’t say it. Elmer Smuckmeister, a retired farmer living in Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, now knows the Law of Unintended Consequences has consequences. Elmer was a hog farmer. He knew nothing about social nicet...

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