Biden’s Ventriloquist Claims He’s The Real President

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Wednesday, 13 October 2021

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From The Horse’s Mouth

BILLINGSGATE POST: Who’s the dummy now? A Las Vegas ventriloquist claims that every word that President Biden reads from his Teleprompter actually comes from him. In an extraordinary interview with George Staphylococcus, Victor Chameleon explained that through the use of holographic technology, what appears to be Biden speaking to the American public is actually a stuffed dummy and that, although it appears that Biden’s lips are moving, they are not.

Staphylococcus: “Are you implying that the President is not among us anymore? That has incredible constitutional implications.”

Victor: “From what I understand, the Democrat Party has been using him as a dummy since early 2019 when he had a lobotomy. They kept him in his basement where he was confined to his BarcaLounger during the Presidential campaign. During the debates, they fooled everyone by superimposing his holographic image and having me answer the questions. They continue to do so. With the complicity of the liberal media, they are allowed to get away with it.

Staphylococcus: “Let me get this straight. Are you telling me that you are now, in effect, the de facto President of the USA?

Victor: “Not only that, but leader of the free World.”

Staphylococcus: “Holy shit! Have you ever talked to Vladimir Putin?”

Victor: “Of course. Also to Xi Jinping and other World leaders.”

Staphylococcus: “Who else have you impersonated that wasn’t entirely there.”

Victor: “I did Mister Ed and Trigger. I did Trigger so well that Roy Rogers rode him for ten years and didn’t know he was dead.”

Dr. Slim: “What will happen when the American public finds this out?”

Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. Mums the word. I just wish Victor wouldn’t lose his chain of thought so often.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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