What began as a classic standoff between wokers and old schoolers turned into a free-for-all yesterday at a press conference held to announce a new name for team known as the Kansas City Chiefs.
The old schoolers gathered to protest the change, while wokers showed up in support of it. But clearly everyone became enraged when the new name “Hooligans” was announced and the two groups joined forces, creating chaos. Chairs were thrown, tables overturned and fires were set in the facility.
Soon after the chaos broke out, a number of gangs of actual hooligans showed up to take part in the carnage, and the rioting spread across several city blocks. People were randomly attacked and several autos were overturned and set on fire
“The name 'Hooligans' is clearly offensive and inflammatory!” cried woker Joe “Woke-man” Williamson while standing in the midst of the scene, “What kind of message does it send to our kids!”
Team officials say they may reconsider the new name after the “abhorrent behavior” on the part of local hooligans.
When asked for a response, hooligan leader Kenny Sloan said “No idea what they’re talking about. I thought our behavior was exemplary and I've never been more proud of my guys. They were ready to go today!”