What began as a classic standoff between wokers and old schoolers turned into a free-for-all yesterday at a press conference held to announce a new name for team known as the Kansas City Chiefs. The old schoolers gathered to protest the change, w…
A vintage red-and-white Plymouth Fury with Maine license plates is responsible, authorities say, for setting fire to the Sierra National Forest near Yosemite National Park. The vehicle, which has been traced to Arnold “Arnie” Cunningham, was damag...
Michael Jackson's boyhood home. Gary, Indiana. Aside from the King of Pop, this metropolis didn't offer much. It was a pit. All that was left of this once booming steel town was boarded-up buildings, a few liquor stores that resembled jails with all of the metal bars protecting the premises, a minor league baseball team with a brand new baseball park (the "Railcats") and various river boat cas...
East Sussex, UK - A 144-year-old Grade II-listed Peer of the Realm who got fried to bits may have been a sacrificial lamb kebab-gone-wrong investigators said today. M'Noble Lewd Eastbourne, GBH and Bar, burst into flames at a seaside attraction...
NEW YORK, NY - Investigators have determined that the fire last week that destroyed 68 businesses on the boardwalk in Seaside Park, N.J., was not set intentionally, according to the person who was seen running from the fire with an empty gas can.
Nottingham - A packed court has heard how two Nottingham pagans used an ancient 'skyclad' rite as a bit of an excuse for a spot of naked romping around a makeshift indoor fire. The Meadows residents Mr A Mughal and Mr T Williams shed their inhibit...
Foppish pig fiddler Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall was today at the centre of an arson inquiry, after the landmark river cottage was burnt down. Curly haired Hugh a celebrity chef known for his trademark lack of food hygiene and eating pigs testicles...
Pennsylvania - "At this stage we don't yet know what they used as a dipstick to check the vehicle's oil levels," a Harrisonville patrolman said today, "maybe it's best left to the imagination." His comments come as a Metal Township couple was char...
England was tonight bracing itself for yet another night of civil unrest and rioting. Violence and destruction is no longer confined to London and the London boroughs, and has now spread as far as Manchester and Leeds, Bristol, Wolverhampton and Birm...
London - A spate of nationwide arson attacks was being blamed today on dodgy 'bongs' similar to one that caused the 1666 Great Fire of London. Ministry of Skunk sources issued an immediate recall of the entire 'Zomby' range of imported hookahs fol...
British socialite Bettina, Duchess of Koongal, 50, got the shock of her life when she returned from a Tahitian getaway only to discover that her luxurious 16th century mansion had fallen victim to an arsonist who has so far torched more than a dozen...
Sussex - (Wormwood Scrubbers): Ministry of Justice bosses today blamed Ford Open Prison's openly gay woman governor for the weekend's rioting that burnt down the jail. 'Mean looking' Sharon Williams apparently sparked the blaze that caused £3milli...
Hopeless Street chip-shop in Ventnor is the centre of a police investigation after a fire broke out there at 10:30pm Monday morning. Regular Isle of Wight News readers, and even some of those with constipation, will recall our recent survey to fin...
Police are hunting a pair of youths who are believed to be behind a series of arson attacks on dry stone walls around Shorwell. "There are a couple of young lads we'd like to speak to," said police constable Michelle Gonmad. "We have a fair idea who they are, on account of there not being very many youths in the Shorwell area." The border wall for Westcourt Farm, on the road to Limerstone ha...
A 19 metres tall and 12 metres wide statue of Jesus Christ no longer stands after Jesus' relative, Mother Nature, was alleged to have been called in to "strike it down". In Ohio, locals were at a loss why a lightening strike choose there treasured...
Saying he probably inhaled too many paint fumes while finishing his lawnmower in a small building, a Wisconsin man faces an arson charge after telling authorities he wasn't thinking when he decided to use gasoline for cleaning up his apartment, and t...
Consternation today following the total incineration of a house, reportedly occupied by a daft bastard. Smoke and flames engulfed the house at eleven am today and the building suffered total structural failure as fire-fighters arrived at the scene.
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