Fauci to hit the road with song and dance routine to promote jabs

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Friday, 19 March 2021

image for Fauci to hit the road with song and dance routine to promote jabs
Vaccine company representatives will also be part of the show

First, Dr. Fauci suggested to President Biden that he use Mr. Trump to promote vaccinations.

This idea went down in the White House like the proverbial toilet refusing to flush.

Next, Senator Rand Paul accused Fauci of using “theater” with his continual emphasis on mask-wearing.

The good doctor then leaped to a solution.

Road show, why not?

Most theaters are empty these days, but they could be used with proper distancing between seats.

Additionally, a free set of 3-Star Fauci Designed Masks could be given out with the price of admission.

The three stars:

*OPN (officially preferred narrative)

The problem is vaccine hesitancy—slowness in vaccine consumption—has seen some uptick recently.

The AstroZeneca vaccine has been halted in twenty-four countries. Moderna, too, is under scrutiny, for causing severe arm rash.

Even the Pfizer vaccine has not escaped the VAERS (vaccine adverse events reporting system) syndrome.

Vaccine manufacturers insist these VAERS cases are minor (at over 1,600 deaths and 31,000 injuries as of March 8) versus millions of vaccines already delivered.

This means taking the jab may NOT hurt a person whatever, other than soreness and throwing up for a few days.

The problem:

Contrary to historical methodology with vaccines, the current set--rushed out at “warp speed”--were developed with no significant animal studies or investigation of long-term side effects.

Mr. Fauci's answer: A rousing performance, as with the old days of vaudeville, will get the crucial message across!

Product should move; cash should flow.

Additional to lecturing and persuading with charts and graphs, Mr. Fauci will dance across the stage with a version of “Hit the Road, Jack.”

“Oh get the jab, Jack
and never come back, come back, come back
oh get the jab, Jack
and never come back no more . . .”

Accompanying him a female chorus will add color and beauty:

“No more, no more
uh huh uh huh
never come back
no more, no more . . .”

Being interviewed for the chorus at this time are Nancy Pelosi, Gretchen Whitmer, and Jill Biden.

Important qualifier:

This “no more,” Mr. Fauci explains, does not mean no more mask wearing, distancing, or getting vaccinations.

(Additionally, yearly jab “updates” may be needed).

Getting the jab means we're on the way to opening up (but with need for continued mask-wearing, distancing, and “low-threshold” group gatherings--tops at family of six).

Mr. Fauci is sure we can take the masks off—in 2023, or maybe 2024—to see how it goes at that point.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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