Boston, Ma - An 80-year-old man reported complications from his COVID vaccine. Charles Riley found himself unexpectededly unable to walk after being vaccinated.
Riley reports that he was so excited about getting the vaccine that "two weeks to the day" after his second shot, he went out for a long run. Hours later, his right knee swelled up "the size of a balloon."
"I guess I overdid it," stated Riley, drinking a cold Boston lager with both legs elevated. "It's the vaccine's fault. It made me so happy I thought I was 25 years old again. Turns out the vaccine only protects me from the damn virus. I'll still need to find my fountain of youth."