In more a medical miracle than an instance of evangelical fervor, South Boston became the (double-)birthplace of the nation’s first ever born-again baby, Robbie Fitzpatrick. While doctors are still struggling to pin down the scientific details. t...
Beantown, U. S. A. In an obvious parody of a long-running radio commercial for a private, religious-oriented university, Oliveti Navy Bean Inc., the nation's largest distributor of that specialty product, released a new radio commercial today, voice...
Boston, MA - A Boston woman who illegally parked in a clearly marked "tow zone" demanded a pedicure from a meter maid. The meter maid explained that "tow zone" does not mean a place where pedicures are given, but instead means a place where your...
BOSTON, Mass. - Remember that horrible Boston winter that had a blizzard effect all over the cable news networks? Well it's still around. It's not snowing on the East Coast now that Memorial Day has come and gone, but the remnants of last winter stan...
BILLINGSGATE POST: With snow reaching heights of 6 or more feet in the Boston area, reports of a creepy man dressed as a snowman are being investigated by Boston Police. One lady, who did not want to be identified, reported that she was steppi...
Boston-Families throughout New England yesterday defiantly posted "Je Suis Frostie" signs in their windows and on the snowmen in their front and back yards, following an anti-snowman fatwah issued by a Saudi Arabian imam, Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Mun...
BOSTON - One of the oldest organizations in the greater Boston area has just announced that they are cancelling their next monthly meeting. The vice-president of The East Coast Tantrum Throwing Society Tilford P. Pristbottle stated that the commit...
BEAN TOWN, MA -- Boston public schools have suspended the distribution of condoms-well some condoms. Specifically, officials will no longer provide, upon request, any condom that is packaged in a wrapper that encourage users to "hump one," advertises...
BOSTON - The state of Massachusetts has just become the first state in the nation to state that the taking of upskirt photographs is legal and picture takers have the right to take their upper thigh shots. The law states that this is America and i...
BOSTON - A 22-year-old computer programmer living in Boston has come forth with an astonishing claim. Mavis Drillwater has informed the news media that she is Mitt Romney's daughter. She said that she did not know it until recently when she found...
SOCHI, Russia - Russian police have revealed that they have just arrested a man at The Sochi Airport who was claiming to be the former mayor of New York City Rudy Giuliani. The man was arrested after it was learned that he was trying to enter Russ...
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - Penguins have been spotted swimming in the icy coastal waters off Boston with a look of delight in their beady little eyes. Much to the delight of avid East Coast birdwatchers, it is suspected that the aquatic creatures, who...
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - The Boston Consortium announced today that the U.S. is running out of Ph.D. positions. With a student count of 122,000, the Boston Consortium Schools report they cannot possibly guarantee their Ph.D. candidates jobs when they...
BOSTON - An inside source at NESM has stated that Jenny Dell has been relieved of her sideline duties effective immediately. It appears that the sexually attractive Miss Dell violated an unwritten rule that states that reporters will not fraterniz...
BOSTON - Three nuns from St. Lobster's Church in Boston have stated that they are fed up with non-Catholic individuals saying that nuns are basically lazy. Sister Marie Bingo told National Focus Magazine reporter Durango Tucker that when she was i...
BOSTON - State Police working in conjunction with local law enforcement officers have just reported finding seven members of a Taliban cell living at The Crabby Crab Estates Trailer Park in Boston. State Agent-In-Charge Latimer Waterball, 43, info...
BOSTON - The mayor of Boston Thomas "Mumbles" Menino has just taken what has got to be one of the cheapest shots in the history of cheap shots. Mayor Menino speaking to a group of nuns in the parking lot of a local Silly Sardine Seafood Diner was...
The FBI revealed today that more DNA had been found on bomb fragments found at the scene of the Boston Bombing. Three of them so far have been identified as employees at a mega-mart in upstate New York, a telemarketer from India, and four from a "swe...
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