Undercover New Jersey Police Woman Sues Department Over Proceeds From Her Undercover Work

Funny story written by mikewadestr

Tuesday, 19 January 2021

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Linda at her new workplace

Paramus, New Jersey undercover police woman, Linda Wonton, is suing her own police department over proceeds she earned while doing undercover work as a prostitute. Wonton believes she earned the proceeds legitimately, and is in full right of keeping them.

Wonton was one of 10 female police officers who were chosen to go undercover as prostitutes, in order to expose and breakup a sex trafficking operation that was believed to have been operating over the last 5 years in Paramus. The gang which ran the sex trafficking ring were known as the Pole Smokers. The undercover operative was named Operation Bottoms Up, according to police documentation that was released by the court. Apparently, the ring recruited individual prostitutes by promising them lucrative porn film movie roles. The gang would then have the prostitute dress in a Playboy Bunny suit, and would film the prostitute’s actions with each client. They would pay the prostitute a portion of the money garnered from the transaction, which, in the case of the 10 undercover officers, would than go to the Paramus Police Department.

“I earned every cent of that money from my undercover work,” lamented Wonton. “I was the one doing the 'humpty dumpty' with the John. I was the one 'pole-smoking'. I’m the one facilitating the cunnilingus. I earned that money, and that money is three times of what I make from being a police officer. I am starting to think that I may be in the wrong business.”

Other undercover officers have supported Wonton, and they, too, want to collect the proceeds from their labor. They have filed a friend of the court brief in favor of Wonton.

“They are police officers and police officers only,” stated Paramus Police Chief Donny Oversight. “The money they make goes straight into the police department’s budget. Right now, we need extra money so we can buy another militarized tank from the army. We only have three tanks as of now. We need more to be used when serving warrants at local residences. We are fighting this."

When asked if the chief had made any arrests yet, Oversight replied: “We are making a lot of money off of this operation, so as of to date there have been no arrests.”

As of press time, Wonton had quit the police department to become a full-time prostitute.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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