NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - Fox News is reporting that there are lots of unhappy, unemployed streetwalkers in the Big Apple.
It seems that all of the city’s prostitutes are no longer receiving their unemployment benefits, since President Trump issued a Presidential Executive Order, ending their much-needed unemployment checks.
Fox News TV host Tucker Carlson interviewed Velveeta Baggatelli, who goes by the working name of the “Pavement Princess”.
A visibly upset Ms. Baggatelli told Carlson that she feels like she is being treated like some kind of cheap whore.
Carlson reminded her that she’s a slut, and, as such? she is not really entitled to benefits, like, say an unemployed female wrestler, or an unemployed teacher, or even an unemployed gynecologist.
The Fox News host really tore into Velveeta mercilessly, and when he finished he noticed that she was staring intently at him.
“Say fella,” she remarked. “I know you. You and I got it on, about a year ago, in the alley behind the Fox News building.”
Tucker said she had him confused with some other good-looking, virile, white guy.
Velveeta giggled, as she recalled that he had told her his name was "Tucky" Hannity.
She then told "Tucky" that he had a tattoo of a squirrel on his right shoulder and a tattoo of a baby guppy on his (blank).
And with that, Carlson quickly went to a commercial.