WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The all-female Russian heavy metal band, Pussy Riot, has been invited to perform at President Joe Biden’s gala inauguration party, to be held at the Kennedy Center Annex.
The band, on Russian President Putin’s list of personas non-grata, along with Sean Hannity, Piers Morgan, and LeVar Ball, have agreed to perform songs by some of Joe and Jill Biden’s favorite singers, such as Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Black Kitty Meow Meow, and Petula Clark.
The three members of Pussy Riot - Muffin, Beaver, and Hooha - have also been asked to perform at the 2021 Super Bowl half-time show, in El Paso, Texas, at the newly-completed, state-of-the-art Guacamole Bowl.
The new stadium was built by a construction company from Hong Kong, using workers imported from Switzerland and Ghana.
Pussy Riot bass player, Hooha, has said that the band has over 15 million fans worldwide including Melania and Barron Trump, Meghan Markle, Tom Brady, and Tucker Carlson.
In a related story, two members of Pussy Riot have admitted having had sexual relations with the Russian leader, and both agreed that, on a scale of 1 to 10, Putin was a 2.5 in the bedroom department.
