Donald Trump Thinks Everything Is A Mere Figment Of His Imagination

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 28 December 2020

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Trump's brain: what's going on in there?

Psychoanalysts have said they can now reveal why they think outgoing US President Donald Trump is prone to behaving how he does, why he tells so many lies, why he treats other people with such disdain and disrespect, and why he believes he is not only the greatest US leader in history, but also the most supreme human specimen on planet Earth.

Trump thinks everything - that's EVERYTHING - is a figment of his own imagination.

Former White House staff who have left their employment recently have been questioned by Secret Service officials, and say that the President constantly talks to himself, telling himself that he is the ONLY thing that exists, and that everything else is make-believe.

A maid, Florence Dickwad, who spoke only under guarantee of anonymity, said she stumbled upon a diary in which the President had made copious notes of a philosophical nature.

In it, Trump repeatedly writes that nothing that is going on around him is real, and that everything he sees is just his own madcap thoughts being paraded in front of his eyes by his mind, like a never-ending dream.

Even his wild claims that the presidential election was "rigged", and that it was "stolen" from him, he believes, are just 'negative energy' brought on by worrying too much about the thoughts of the people, who, he is certain, in their hearts, love him, and want him to continue in his current role for another term of four years, if not forever.

But one man's dream, is another 's nightmare, say the experts, and Trump's alarm clock is set to go off on 20 January.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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