WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Supreme Court has just issued a directive, that President Trump needs to immediately stop pardoning any more individuals.
The justices voted 9-0 that every one of the 13,000-plus pardons he has issued or gifted were given to individuals who are all fucking guilty-as-hell.
The 9 justices stated unequivocally, that what Trump is doing is something that damned evil dictators do in third world countries.
POTUS has pardoned Paul Manafort, Michael Flynn, Scott Baio, and Sean Hannity, among others.
A source close to the president said that Trump is going crazy giving out pardons like their McDonalds Happy Meals.
The source further pointed out that he saw the list of people to be pardoned before Trump gets his Russian-loving ass kicked out of the White House.
And some of the names include Adolf Hitler, Hirohito, Charles Manson, Ghislaine Maxwell, and Ricky Gervais.
In a related story, TMZ is reporting that Melania has hidden her husband's Viagra Pills for fear that he may overdose, due to the fact that he is as depressed as a m*therfuc*ing #loser!
