Geoff Texas reveals his favourite Christmas country songs

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Wednesday, 16 December 2020

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Many American families will spend Christmas at McDonalds

Country artist Geoff Texas reveals exclusively to TheSpoof his all-time favourite Christmas country songs.

The singer said, "We all enjoy carols like Happy Christmas To You, Like A Virgin or It's Beginning To Smell A Lot Like Jesus."

"But Christmas country songs are so much deeper, and more realistic. If you've ever had to build a snowman out of mud, you'll know what I mean."

"These are songs that make you cry and feel pain. Especially if I'm singing them."

Here is the list:

Christmas Divorce

I Can't Get Enough Socks

Roadkill For Christmas Dinner Again

Jesus Was Poorer Than You And He Didn't Swear Like That

You're Too Fat To Dress Up As Santa

(Get Me Some) Gold, Frankincense And Fur

Reindeer Roasting On An Open Spit

I Can't Afford No Partridge In A Pear Tree But Twelve Of My Cousins Are Gonna Drum For You

Trailer Park Santa

Stay Away From Uncle Wally And His Mistletoe Hat

Your Name's What? I'm Guessing You Don't Celebrate Christ's Birthday

We Burnt Santa's Sleigh To Keep Warm

For Christmas Dinner I Wanted Burger King But My Wife Wanted KFC

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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