'Singa along 'a Don' - Trump's new Christmas album 'the greatest ever', he says

Funny story written by T. Loaf

Friday, 18 December 2020

image for 'Singa along 'a Don' - Trump's new Christmas album 'the greatest ever', he says
Feel the harmonies...

And now this. The outgoing President and his team have recorded a host of revamped Christmas melodies and smashed into the Billboard charts at No. 1.

Together with Melania, Rudy G., Kayleigh Mac and the Ivanka Clan, Donald has created an unforgettable new turn on yuletide with his album 'Sing along 'a Don'.

Tracks include a re-texted version of the Dean Martin classic, 'Let it snow':

The poll it was rigged and illicit.
And the White House, I will miss it.
But I never felt so damn low.
So, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

And, of course, the Holly and the Ivy:

The Biden and the Harris
When they are sworn in soon.
There'll be hell to pay.
I won't go away.
And in 4 years I'll be back....

Rudy Giuliani and Kayley Mac warble the carol, '12 days of Christmas', starting off with...:

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A manual on lies and deceit.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Two red hair dyes
and a manual on lies and deceit.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Three henchmen, two red hair dyes
and a manual on lies and deceit.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Four ugly crooks, three henchmen, two red hair dyes
and a manual on lies an deceit.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Five specious tales!
Four ugly crooks, three henchmen, two red hair dyes
and a manual on lies and deceit.

and on the sixth day...

The First Lady, Melania, sings a heartwarming rendition of 'Once in Royal Barron's City' with her son, while Michael Pence and Mike Pompeo lend their vocal chords to Good King Wencelas, of course re-sung as 'Good King Donald last looked out on the feast of Biden...'

Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner can be heard humming the tune of 'White Christmas' to avoid any claims of political incorrectness. But hey, this album takes you to places you've never been, and will never want to go back to. The ideal gift for your dog...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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