WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Kayleigh McEnany, the official White House #brown noser, #kiss ass, #stooge, informed the news media that the First Lady did, in fact, faint.
McEnany stated that Mrs. Trump was sitting at a desk, filing her nails, when, all of a sudden, she fainted.
The President said that it was about seven minutes before he noticed that she had fainted, because he was engrossed in watching his new favorite TV media personality, Maria Bartiromo.
Trump said that, luckily, for his wife, when she fainted, her head landed on the softest piece of furniture in the entire bedroom, an Early Attila The Hun Coffee Table, which was made from soft refurbished particle board.
Mrs. Trump was rushed to the Dr. Charles T. Pepper Hospital, where she received 9 stitches to her head, 6 to her gluteus maximus, and 2 to her labia majora.
The First lady's attending physician, Dr. Pepper, commented that Mrs. Trump was resting comfortably, eating sopapillas, and binge-watching episodes of the reality show, “The Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.”