Trump suffers from severe hearing loss, keeps saying, ‘pardon me’.

Funny story written by Absolute Bull

Saturday, 5 December 2020

image for Trump suffers from severe hearing loss, keeps saying, ‘pardon me’.
Trump with one of the ears he's having problems with

Sean P. Conley, the White House physician, has confirmed that there are definite signs that President Trump, like Caesar, has turned a deaf ear to the no-concession advice from his inner circle and loquacious sons.

Even the syrupy praise of Hannity and Tucker on Fox News did not bring forth a cheer from Trump. Hanny and Tuck endorsed Trump's claims that the election was stolen by Biden, due to the machinations of thousands of corrupt election staff, damned ‘flipping’ Dominion machines, renegade Republican Governors, and unpatriotic judges. Trump recognized his talk-heads on Fox News, but could not hear them. ‘Must be that damned mute button from the Debate.’

“Can’t hear a damn thing,” snorted POTUS. A worried Dr. Conley whispered into Trump’s ear, only to be met with a bewildered look and the first sign of civil propriety in the White House: ‘Pardon me?’

“I’m sorry, sir,”said Dr. Conley, “that’s way above my pay-grade. I only doctor things around here.” The good doctor retreated when there was no response from Trump, confirming his worst suspicions that Trump had not even heard him. The news swirled around the White House. Yes, POTUS was suffering from severe hearing loss.

Further proof was forthcoming when Trump viewed his 46-minute most important speech on Fox News, and exclaimed loudly,
"WTF am I saying?", Ironically, all major networks and talk show hosts were asking the same question.

It all came to a head when Trump addressed the faithful in Georgia, claiming that the electoral system was crooked, and that it only worked well in Florida, North Carolina, Texas and Alaska, and other states which he had won. “But, in Georgia, the same Dominion system is crooked, and the Republicans are crooked and the judges I appointed have switched.”

The crowd erupted in feverish delight amidst the weaving Trump flags, and shouted: "TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT…TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT… OF GEORGIA."

Trump could not believe his ears (naturally). The crowd was yelling, but he could not hear a thing. He raised his arms for silence, cupped his right ear with a trumpet, and said: 'Pardon me?'

The crowd roared with an almighty shout: "PARDON HIM! PARDON HIM!"

And all the allies on the podium joined in - Rudy Giuliani, Jared Kushner, Donald Jr., Eric, Melissa Carone, Fox News hosts, Marco Rubio, Pompeo, Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham and Corn & Cob -
with a well-orchestrated plea of "ME-TOO, ME-TOO."

The hashtag #PARDONMETOO has gone viral with membership in the thousands and counting.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more